I left Korea 2 days ago. My decision was impulsive and I’m still unsure if it was the right move. If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I ran away again. I wasn’t happy. As things started to fall apart, I self-medicated with alcohol. It wasn’t pretty.
Every day I sat at my job, the more I hated myself for settling. When I thought of my new university position, I hated myself even more. Teaching English is NOT what I want to do for the rest of my life. What the hell did I get a PhD in Psychology for if I was never going to use it? Why did I keep applying for jobs elsewhere when I already had an offer?
Why was I staying in a country that I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to be in anymore? I never quite fit in there. Maybe it was the language barrier. Maybe it was due to me not trying hard enough. Maybe I should have given it another year. Whatever the reason, Korea and I weren’t the best fit.
My relationship with Mr. Glitter was slowly unravelling. When I announced that I was leaving, it swiftly hit rock bottom. I won’t get into details because I’m still not sure what the hell happened or is happening… However, I will say this… I tried. He tried. It worked splendidly for a while – and then it didn’t. Despite our issues and my broken heart, I’m still rooting for us. Eventually, I know I’ll have to let go. For now, I’m still naively hopeful.
So, what’s next? I’m back home in Brooklyn for now. I need this time to regroup, love on myself a bit more, and enjoy the fabulousness that is New York City. I’ll spend the next few months traveling around the country to visit friends and family before I head off into the world again. I’ve got something brewing for August and will announce it once everything is settled.
If When all goes well, I’ll have one hell of a testimony.
Anyway, don’t fret. The doom and gloom theme that has accompanied my recent posts is just about done here. While I enjoy sharing the good and not so good with you all, I think it’s time for a new, happier, brighter, chapter to begin.
Here goes nothing…