Today, I finally had the guts to let my heart’s desires be known. Firmly and directly, I asked for what I truly wanted then waited for an answer. One one thousand… Two one thousand… Three one thousand… Four. The seconds passed by slowly. My heart rate quickened. A faint smile flashed, re-appeared and lingered, then disappeared before lips were parted again. The answer? The answer?!
I was recently asked, “Do you ever crave a traditional life?” Curious, I wanted to know what the definition of traditional was before I answered. I was told that it was a husband, house, and kids. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked a variation of this question.
“When are you going to settle down?”
“Are you thinking about marriage?”
“You don’t have kids yet?”
“Don’t you want kids?”
“How are you going to find a husband if you can’t sit still long enough in one place?”
I left Korea 2 days ago. My decision was impulsive and I’m still unsure if it was the right move. If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I ran away again. I wasn’t happy. As things started to fall apart, I self-medicated with alcohol. It wasn’t pretty.
Every day I sat at my job, the more I hated myself for settling. When I thought of my new university position, I hated myself even more. Teaching English is NOT what I want to do for the rest of my life. What the hell did I get a PhD in Psychology for if I was never going to use it? Why did I keep applying for jobs elsewhere when I already had an offer?
If you’ve been paying an ounce of attention here on LiveTravelMore you may have noticed me briefly mention the guy I’m dating. If you know me in real life, then you’ve probably heard or seen me talk about Mr. Glitter, as he’s affectionately called. I’m often, much to the annoyance of some of my friends, blabbering on about #teamglitter.